Me Llamo Ian

vivalanorge:

England: colour
America: color
England: humour
America: humor
England: flavour
America: flavor
England: what are you doing
America: getting rid of u lmao

(via otpcruiseliner)

ethereal-ineffability:

charmandercheesecake:

odins-one-eyed-fuck:

satansgayson:

2spookysweatermeulin:

chibicrydoll:

cheezetits:

willsuckss:

SHIT I’M LATE FOR AMERICAN SCHOOL

i go to school in america and i can tell u that this is 120% accurate if we dont do this we get sent to freedom jail for not being free enough

In my school, we have to bring our pet eagles to school and whenever we don’t we get a 1 hour detention.

YOU AREN’T WEARING RED WHITE AND BLUE YOU’RE BREAKING DRESS CODE

WOW! You guys are allowed to talk in the international english, i feel so rebelious OH SHIT A TEACHER *cough* Obama gun fried chicken california cowboy kentucky george washington freedom tea boston flag

WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME
no sir, your mom is unconstitutional

we literally have to pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america and to the republic for which it stands one nation under god indivisible with liberty and justice for all every morning

The sad thing is the last part isn’t part of the joke

ethereal-ineffability:

charmandercheesecake:

odins-one-eyed-fuck:

satansgayson:

2spookysweatermeulin:

chibicrydoll:

cheezetits:

willsuckss:

SHIT I’M LATE FOR AMERICAN SCHOOL

i go to school in america and i can tell u that this is 120% accurate if we dont do this we get sent to freedom jail for not being free enough

In my school, we have to bring our pet eagles to school and whenever we don’t we get a 1 hour detention.

YOU AREN’T WEARING RED WHITE AND BLUE YOU’RE BREAKING DRESS CODE

WOW! You guys are allowed to talk in the international english, i feel so rebelious OH SHIT A TEACHER *cough* Obama gun fried chicken california cowboy kentucky george washington freedom tea boston flag

WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME

no sir, your mom is unconstitutional

we literally have to pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america and to the republic for which it stands one nation under god indivisible with liberty and justice for all every morning

The sad thing is the last part isn’t part of the joke

(via otpcruiseliner)

imasnaaaaake:

thefrogman:

Get a giant telephoto lens.
Start zoomed all the way out.
Step back a few feet and zoom in so the object is the same size.
Repeat.
Or it’s witchcraft and we need to set this photographer on fire. 

I have been staring at this gif for like five minutes and I still have no idea what is happening

imasnaaaaake:

thefrogman:

Get a giant telephoto lens.

Start zoomed all the way out.

Step back a few feet and zoom in so the object is the same size.

Repeat.

Or it’s witchcraft and we need to set this photographer on fire. 

I have been staring at this gif for like five minutes and I still have no idea what is happening

(Source: finalellipsis, via lessrad)

Science is crazy.

Science is crazy.

thefrogman:

On this day in 1492, George Washington crossed the Atlantic Ocean in three mighty ships… the Nina, the Piñata and the Santa Claus.
Washington and the other Americans were fleeing the evil Britons. The Britons believed in taxation without representation and back then there was no TurboTax, so that was a really big deal. 
To infuriate the Britons, Washington decided to waste a bunch of their tea, dumping it into the sea. The Britons jumped in after the tea, trying to drink it as they swam around in it. All you could see were Englishman’s pinkies sticking up through the water.
One must always extend his pinky whilst drinking tea. 
This meant war. 
The Americans and the Britons lined up on two sides of a field. They raised their muskets and began firing at one another. At no point did anyone think to hide behind a rock or a tree. After hours of firing their weapons and making no attempts to dodge the deadly projectiles, the only two men left standing were George Washington and King Leopold Womplebottom the 8th.
They were both out of ammunition so they charged at one another with their bayonets raised. Before they could reach each other, Jesus Christ descended from the heavens and turned their weapons into armadillos. He liked changing things into armadillos because their name sounds so much like “arm dildos” and it makes him giggle. 
The Lord asked, “Why are you two fighting this battle?”
George replied, “He taxed us a bunch and took away our freeeeeeedom.”
King Womplebottom replied, “He wasted tea and I’m pretty sure his teeth are made of wood. And that’s creepy.” 
Jesus shook his head and said, “The wooden teeth are a myth. You really need to look things up on Ye Olde Snopes before you start spouting them off as facts.”
Jesus decided enough was enough. He told the King to return to England and leave the Americans alone. He told George Washington to declare independence and lead this new nation. Jesus then ascended toward the heavens with his arms raised and with a booming, echoed voice he said…
"Arrrrrmmmm dildos!"
The King returned to England as instructed and George gathered his most patriotic friends inside the Liberty Bell in Philadelphia. (It’s bigger on the inside.) They wrote up a document declaring independence from the tyranny of Great Britain. His friend John Hancock signed his name really big and George was like, “Dude, we all gotta sign this shit and we only have one piece of paper. Not cool.”
Then they attached fireworks to an eagle, it flew high above the Liberty Bell, and exploded in a feathery death of absolute freedom.
And America lived happily ever after.

thefrogman:

On this day in 1492, George Washington crossed the Atlantic Ocean in three mighty ships… the Nina, the Piñata and the Santa Claus.

Washington and the other Americans were fleeing the evil Britons. The Britons believed in taxation without representation and back then there was no TurboTax, so that was a really big deal. 

To infuriate the Britons, Washington decided to waste a bunch of their tea, dumping it into the sea. The Britons jumped in after the tea, trying to drink it as they swam around in it. All you could see were Englishman’s pinkies sticking up through the water.

One must always extend his pinky whilst drinking tea. 

This meant war. 

The Americans and the Britons lined up on two sides of a field. They raised their muskets and began firing at one another. At no point did anyone think to hide behind a rock or a tree. After hours of firing their weapons and making no attempts to dodge the deadly projectiles, the only two men left standing were George Washington and King Leopold Womplebottom the 8th.

They were both out of ammunition so they charged at one another with their bayonets raised. Before they could reach each other, Jesus Christ descended from the heavens and turned their weapons into armadillos. He liked changing things into armadillos because their name sounds so much like “arm dildos” and it makes him giggle. 

The Lord asked, “Why are you two fighting this battle?”

George replied, “He taxed us a bunch and took away our freeeeeeedom.”

King Womplebottom replied, “He wasted tea and I’m pretty sure his teeth are made of wood. And that’s creepy.” 

Jesus shook his head and said, “The wooden teeth are a myth. You really need to look things up on Ye Olde Snopes before you start spouting them off as facts.”

Jesus decided enough was enough. He told the King to return to England and leave the Americans alone. He told George Washington to declare independence and lead this new nation. Jesus then ascended toward the heavens with his arms raised and with a booming, echoed voice he said…

"Arrrrrmmmm dildos!"

The King returned to England as instructed and George gathered his most patriotic friends inside the Liberty Bell in Philadelphia. (It’s bigger on the inside.) They wrote up a document declaring independence from the tyranny of Great Britain. His friend John Hancock signed his name really big and George was like, “Dude, we all gotta sign this shit and we only have one piece of paper. Not cool.”

Then they attached fireworks to an eagle, it flew high above the Liberty Bell, and exploded in a feathery death of absolute freedom.

And America lived happily ever after.

(via rnutualfollow)

titytwochainz:

youngharlemnigga:

yappanese:

youngharlemnigga:

yappanese:

I can’t fuck with niggas who eat they cereal crunchy

You let it get soggy?
What kinda modern day neanderthal are you?

Microwave that shit for 30 seconds

image

YOU DO WHAT?!?!?!?!?!??!?!

GTFOH 

you need to be put in prison

unacceptable

(via coolator)

awwww-cute:

That’s a cancer free smile!

awwww-cute:

That’s a cancer free smile!

(via majortvjunkie)

Anonymous said: did u fuck my bitch???

coluring:

i mean i like dogs but not in that way

Where do I join?

Where do I join?

(Source: hey-assbuttttt, via oknope)

tastefullyoffensive:

"I can’t believe it….I’m on the front of a box of snacks!" [x]

tastefullyoffensive:

"I can’t believe it….I’m on the front of a box of snacks!" [x]

human:

trying to keep my grades up like image

 

(Source: human, via hotboyproblems)

intensional:

why isolate the variable when you can isolate yourself from the world

because I already do that..

(via hotboyproblems)

Why is this a Malicious Advice Mallard? Definitely should be Actual Advice Mallard

Why is this a Malicious Advice Mallard? Definitely should be Actual Advice Mallard